What I Learned From The Project That Ended My 8 Year Relationship
The path to financial freedom is littered with sacrifices along the way. This was one of mine.
I was 27 and officially a property developer.
The year was 2010 and we had just finished our first major development project. —— A two-lot land amalgamation, followed by the design and construction of eight low-rise units in the industrial city of Gladstone,
Queensland Australia. (West Gladstone to be specific.)
To break it down in simple terms… we had purchased two houses, side by side… arranged for the houses to be removed from the lots, and then “joined” aka amalgamated the two blocks of land to form one parcel.
From here, the plan was to design and build 8 lowset units, and sell them to investors.
This was the project that would break us, but it was also the most financially successful property venture we had completed to date.
Go figure.
Our completed unit development on Toolooa Street in Gladstone which was acquired by the Queensland State Government in 2009.
The completion of this project represented one of the most emotionally and financially challenging era’s of my life.
Constructed during the GFC in 2008 we managed to complete the development following a gruelling and stressful construction period and come out the other side with a healthy profit.
My former partner is a builder and I have to give him much credit to the conception, design and construction of this venture. Without his vision, skill and expertise, it would never have gone ahead. But at the same time, we were in it together and both carried the burden of the times, and the decisions we had made up until that point.
Banks had tightened lending significantly and it was probably one of the worst times in modern history to be launching a new development project.
But one cannot control or predict global economies.
You just have to ride the wave, become more strategic and get creative - aka pivot (if you can).
We were fortunate the Queensland State Government had set their sights on our development and essentially agreed to fund the entire project.
A get out of jail free card following the commercial lender’s requirement of pre-selling all eight of the units before anything could proceed. — Which would never have happened during this time.
You might have heard the term “pre-sales” if you’ve every been around anyone with a property development background. Pre-sales refers to the number of units or properties in the project one needs to have “sold” (a legal binding contract agreed to between a buyer and the developer), BEFORE the lender will fund the project.
Thankfully, it was a success. A financial one at least.
But this “success” I refer to was somewhat short-lived due to our separation which followed soon afterwards, putting me into a downward spiral for years to follow.
Calls for a celebration … or not.
What I do recall is sitting opposite my ex in a restaurant over a glass of red wine and doing a half-hearted toast to the completion of the project.
It was a bitter sweet moment and one that is burned into my memory as a reminder that mixing business with your relationship doesn’t always work. Not for me anyway.
We had beat the GFC (in our own little way).
Dodged a bullet in fact, but we had also lost so much in the process.
Reflecting on this time many years later has made me realise something we should never take for granted.
Firstly, our relationships. If a project or any business venture is going to end up costing you your relationship, well, you might want to reconsider it. The trouble is, we sometimes don’t find out until we’re in too deep.
It comes back to knowing yourself. In particular, your risk appetite when it comes to financial decisions — especially decisions surrounding money and property.
Secondly, we must always make time to celebrate our wins.
At the time, there wasn’t really much to celebrate in my eyes because the relationship was lost, but despite this, the lesson I eventually took was that we should always make time to celebrate milestone events and those “wins” that we strive so hard to achieve.
Rather than hopping from one thing to the next without a second thought, wouldn’t it be nice to stop and take stock of just how far you’ve come and reflect on the journey, no matter how challenging it has been?
It’s called life, and it’s passing us by the busier we become.
I know for myself I’m guilty of piling up my to-do list and raising the achievement bar to an all-time high, running from one task to another, frantically getting shit done, but not really stopping to think just how much I’m achieving.
I’ll often have to consciously stop myself or burnout starts to creep in.
Stop. Breathe. Reflect and give myself some loving self-praise.
An act of self-love.
Acknowledging your achievements and celebrating even the smallest wins is one of the greatest acts of self-love.
It’s just so important for your mental health to milk all you can from that sugar hit high of something going to plan. Because let’s be honest, there aren’t always wins.
Our life journey is full of unexpected challenges, twists and turns — setbacks and course-corrections.
This is why it is so important to celebrate the wins, whilst reflecting on the lessons you’ve learned along the way.
Hey there! I’m Wendy Russell.
I’m an independent buyer’s advocate, investor and self-made businesswoman with a knack for spotting a great property.
